The Old Man told us gunners that before firing, we should carry each shell to his special stone, and touch them to it. This seemed strange to us, but like good sailors of His Majesty, we obey orders…
“It seems like we cannot miss!” Hansi [Ecker’s junior on the gun crew] said to me. For sure, we were amazingly lucky. The English port burned beautifully…
Some superstitious people are saying, of course, that the Old Man’s stone is responsible for our success. He though said at the morning briefing that we should be proud of ourselves, because it is simply that the Gods are favouring our mission. “God, you mean, sir?” said Kapitänleutnant Wild. There was a brief, awkward silence…
Even with the help of the stone, we are just one ship against many – all the English dogs are firing on us, and with the Seydlitz already silenced, the others can be of no real help. We all know we are doomed men, but still we load and fire as fast as we can, each time again touching the shell to the stone – but there are too many of the English for us to destroy…
“It’s all up for us, boys,” said the Old Man, looking terrible – but we knew he was right. The fire would reach the magazine in minutes. The captain’s station is to remain until the ship has been abandoned, so the Old Man had a special instruction for me – to carry the stone to the magazine, to make sure it disappeared in the explosion and so would not fall into the hands of the English when they picked up our survivors. God damn me for a coward, the fire was so fierce, for the first time ever in my career, I disobeyed an order…
The ship was down, and I was in the dark water to my armpits, icy cold, clinging to the gunwale of the overcrowded lifeboat, the stone tied around my waist. Those were the longest minutes of my life, and my mind was whirling and raving. I was mad – mad! What else could explain the feeling that stealthy cold fingers were untying, yes, untying! – the cords that held the stone, and stealing it from me, carrying it down into the strange, swirling sea, to where the Blücher lay dead, with so many of my drowned comrades to guard her…